I was recently called a bully, by a colleague quite senior to me. While I just laughed it off at that moment, it sure made me ponder – am I a bully? But the answer was always a negative. I pacified myself reasoning, that colleague doesn’t know what a bully is. Like most of us.
Who is a bully, after all?
- Someone who has a strong opinion isn’t a bully.
- Someone whose expressions are different than yours isn’t a bully.
- Someone who states things in an aggressive manner isn’t a bully.
Maybe, you would meet people who don’t pick their words wisely or they may not be as polite as you would want them to be…but that doesn’t make them a bully.
“Having a strong opinion doesn’t make you a bully, being a bully makes you a bully.”
Bullying isn’t always arguing or putting people down, that is being despicable. A view, judgement or belief isn’t bullying.
The word ‘bully’ was thrown at me because I had knowledge and experience about something I was contesting in front of the colleague. It wasn’t trolling, it wasn’t hateful, it wasn’t distasteful, and it wasn’t rubbing anyone the wrong way.
Was I bullying? Of course, Not! It’s disagreement.
If you don’t like it and it gives you a weird feeling in your stomach, you still don’t have the right to call me a bully. You may feel that I enjoy arguing but I assure, that isn’t the case. It’s just that I don’t and won’t shy away from speaking up for what I believe.