Last week, one of my short trips between Bengaluru-Delhi made me realise a harsh truth. That is, when we travel, we often carry things to keep us entertained mid-flight such as books, music, etc., but what we ignore are the natural sources of entertainment on flights bestowed upon us by the almighty. You don’t really have to make any extra effort to spot these amusement sources. They are here, there, everywhere. Just look up and savour.
So, these natural resources of amusement are the morons who transmute from fun to annoying in no time. Like the one I encountered.
A young female who sat in the seat ahead of mine. Probably a first timer, but seemed educated yet inconsiderate. She might have assumed that the seats in economy don’t just recline but can be flattened to become a bed. Which sadly, didn’t happen, but she reclined her seat to the max and intruded in my breathing space. That was okay, since every first timer has the right to enjoy their first flight.
What ticked me was her decision to treat the airplane as an open bin or a wedding setup, where you can slide used glasses under the chair, and no one would notice. But here, I was sitting, well, squeezed, noticing her every move.
Just when she innocently got up to deboard (read: evacuate) the plane. I stopped her and made her pick the bottles she crushed and slipped underneath chair, which she reluctantly did, while her husband glared at me accusingly.
Apart from this, there are varietals of buffoons on flights.
The inseparables: The ones who can’t stay away from each other and would make you switch seats with them which because they have not checked-in for adjoining seats.
The loo brigade: The ones who spend two hours waiting to board at the airport packed with toilets only to relieve themselves in the 3*3 cubicle of an airplane. There are also a few of them who are toilet frequenters and would take the window seat only to make everyone stand while they rush to the loo.
The evacuators: These people instantly jump as the aircraft lands, to fetch their stuff kept in the overhead compartments. Of course, unhein ghar jaana hai, so they ignore the pleading calls of the air hostess — ‘Please be seated’.
Then there are people who like to trouble air hostess for every small thing, the continuous talkers and leans who wouldn’t fit in their seats and would gladly intrude yours. But flights would be boring without them, or should I say peaceful?